January 1, 2017 "Saw this today and it's absolutely perfect.
I will expectantly wait and put my hope in You this year.
(Thanks for sharing @i.am.fruitful ) 2016 was full of some
pretty big highs and some really low lows mixed in with
a lot of in between. So thankful for GRACE and hope and support
from family and friends and You.
#seasonofwaitingandgrace #andHeisstillGOOD
January started out with me scrolling through Instagram in my PJs, still in bed, coffee in hand and what a blessing that it did. I came across this post and how absolutely perfect! We had gone through a lot of changes and loss and hurt and love and joy and new beginnings in 2016. This was the perfect reminder of where my hope should be placed, that different seasons of life are ok and no matter what is happening that God is still GOOD - always.
I also realized that my Instagram and picture taking were REALLY quiet in January, which is pretty odd for me, but I was just SO TIRED...more on that to come! :)
January 6, 2017 "Discussing dishwashers. Oh how things have changed!!"
Some of the guys were hunting and ended up stopping by for a while. During this stop they went through the house and discussed "manly things" about it and then ended up in the kitchen. They proceeded to have a major discussion over dishwashers - oh how things have changed since we were all together in the rental houses of Manhattan! Some days I really miss Manhattan and then other days I am so thankful that they enjoy discussing dishwashers now.
Couldn't leave out this pic of Finley! I love when this little lady and her mama, brothers and dad come hang out. I could cuddle with her and smooch those cheeks all day. Earlier this month this little lady spent several days in the PICU with RSV. When we went to visit and she was all hooked up to the monitors it was heartbreaking, but she was a champ and pulled through. She's as healthy and happy as can be and her cheeks are even bigger now if you can believe that!
This little man is another one of my favorites. I love watching him grow and his personality continue to shine through, he seriously cracks me up. This particular night he decided that a photo op could NOT be passed up before Ben and I went home.
January 16, 2017 "When the perfect photo op happens you can't pass it up! this
little man cracks me up. @ktmama1 "mom will you get a photo with B'manda
and Ben? But we have to be by Boomer!""
I couldn't wait to call my doctor the next morning. I set up an appointment and about an hour later my doctors nurse called and told me how excited they were for us and how they couldn't wait to see us in a few weeks. That is why I love that doctor's office so much! They pray for me and they share in the joy and excitement right along with us. So January 25th we made an early morning trip up to Wichita to see how things were going. To say I was nervous is an understatement. After so many times of going to the doctor and hearing bad news, I was preparing myself for the worst. Of course as we got there, we got off the elevator as our doctor got on - not a good sign - haha! We didn't wait long in the waiting room before being taken back to our room. I changed into that super cute gown and then we waited. Yep, as expected Dr. Cline had gone across the street to check on a woman who was getting ready to have her baby. We were fine with waiting for that reason, but the tension just built. I am so thankful for this guy though. He was so positive the whole time and just kept telling me everything was ok this time. He cracked a few corny jokes and eased my worry as the minutes passed.
Dr. Cline walked in, wearing a cowboy hat/boots and scrubs per usual, and the first thing he said was "Well you've done it again, Amanda. I thought I might be seeing you really soon." He went on to explain that you have very high chances of conception after a chemical pregnancy, but that he didn't want to tell us that before. Moving on to the sono. Can we just talk about how confusing and hard to read ultrasounds are if you don't know what you are looking for/at? Dr. Cline was moving the wand (yes wand, TMI and full disclosure, but man it was a little awkward and uncomfortable) all around and mumbling how good everything looked and went straight to my ovaries instead of the baby - what the heck Doc?! Said baby came from the left one, which is crazy that you can tell and just a random fact I'll share. He finally moved on to the baby. There was just a big black blob and my heart sank..."was there not a baby in there? is this happening again?" was all I could think.....and then he adjusted the wand and we saw the tiniest little baby and then right after he pointed to the screen and asked if we saw the flutter. We did - baby C had a heartbeat and it was strong!! My heart exploded and tears came quickly. Ben, of course, just grinned behind me and put his hand on my shoulder. He called baby our "diamond ring" (apparently that is the lingo they use for a baby this size) and upon looking at it more, definitely our little diamond, in more than one way. He was very honest and upfront about our potential struggles, that we had a 25% chance of miscarrying again, the reality of what we could and couldn't do to prevent that from happening and just what to expect. I love his open honesty. He doesn't sugar coat, but he is also very compassionate and kind. He smiled and shook Ben's hand and told us he felt good about this one and that he was going to do everything he could to help us to have a healthy pregnancy. The whole ride home I just stared at that picture in awe that it was actually happening and that we got the opportunity to do this again. Ben just smiled a lot and kept saying "you're going to have a BABY!", he's pretty great and I think I'll keep him. Thankful doesn't even do what I was feeling justice.
There baby C is!!
Well, that explained why I was exhausted around 3 pm and didn't make it much past supper before going to bed - and there's the reason for lack of pictures - I was at work, in bed or in the bathroom. Baby C and the extra progesterone they prescribed to help baby stick were rough on mama's belly. I can't complain because my "morning" sickness was nothing compared to some of the stories from friends. I basically threw up in the morning at work (or dry heaved a lot) and then felt car sick/nauseous off and on throughout the day and usually threw up and felt worse in the evenings. Another excuse to take a warm bath and hit the hay early! Like I would tell everyone who asked, I was never so thankful to not feel good. It was for a pretty dang good reason.
Like I said, lots of lounging and sleep for me. Grateful that Ben and Dals were on board for a little low key also. Dally NEVER used to cuddle and starting about November she was much more cuddly! Sometimes it wasn't the type of cuddling we would prefer, but she's so dang cute, how do you push her away when she wants a little lovin'?
January 25, 2017 "For two years we've wanted Dally to cuddle. Recently she
had really wanted to, unfortunately her version of cuddle is more like suffocating,
but hey I'll take it! #Dally"
Since my brother, SIL and Miss Sawyer (and baby Payne) are so far away we get a lot of time in on FaceTime with them. At first it was basically us watching Sawyer lay around and look adorable, but recently she's more interactive with us and likes to "talk to us" and goes a mile a minute playing. This particular day was a rough one for Miss Sawyer Rose - she had lots of emotions going during the 5 minutes we talked with her (girrlll, I get it, emotions are REAL). But I couldn't resist getting a screen shot of her...she's just so dang cute.
January 29, 2017 "Lots of emotions in the 5 minutes we
FaceTimed tonight - I miss you too Sawyer Rose! Or maybe
she was just hangry. #sweetsawyerrose
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